Actual employee excuses for missing work?

Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

I’m too fat to get into my work pants.

A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet.

Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that nobody was around to let him out.

I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work.

Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

Employee’s wife said he couldn’t come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.

I cut my fingernails too short, they’re bleeding and I have to go to the doctor.

One of the walls in the employee’s home fell off the night before.

Employee’s mother was in jail.

My wheelchair broke down.

God didn’t wake me.

A skunk got into the employee’s house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

Employee had a bad case of hiccups.

It’s way too cold outside to leave the house.

It’s way too nice outside to be in the office.

I had race tickets for Sunday’s race, which was rained out, so they are running it today.

Employee blew his nose so hard that his back went out.

Employee’s horses got loose and were running down the highway.

Employee was hit by a bus while walking.

Employee’s dog swallowed her bus pass.

My house lock jammed, and I’m locked in.

Employee was sad.

My cow bit me.

Employee was spit on by a venomous snake.

Employee had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.

Employee had to ship his grandmother’s bones to India.

I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.

Employee’s bus broke down and was held up by robbers.I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

I forgot to come back to work after lunch.

I couldn’t find my shoes.

I hurt myself bowling.

I totaled my wife’s jeep in a collision with a cow.

My boyfriend’s snake got loose and I’m afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home.

A hit man was looking for me.

The ghosts in my house kept me up all night.

My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.

I eloped.

I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened.

My brain went to sleep and I couldn’t wake it up.

I was watching a guy fixing a septic pump, fell in the hole and hurt myself.

I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back.

My cat unplugged my alarm clock.

I had to be there for my husband’s grand jury trial.

I forgot what day of the week it was.

I forgot I was getting married today.

Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

A tree fell on my car.

I’m too drunk to drive to work.

My monkey died.

My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can’t get it out.

Ha ha I think every eventuality is covered. There is an excuse for everyone!! lol!

))

Is my 11 week old beagle coughing ?

For the past few days my 11 week old beagle has been what I thought was "hiccups" and then it follows with a gag like trying to hack up a fur ball (like a cat) if that makes sense. Nothing ever comes up and if it does she swallows it. At night she wakes me up since she sleeps in my bed and I feel so bad cause it looks like it’s uncomfortable for her and she can’t get settled. Her whole body jerks. I took her to the vet yesterday and of course the "noise/hiccups" didn’t happen. I looked online today and thought maybe she has kennel cough? But she was vaccinated at the end of March for that. Any ideas what it could be or what I can do for her?Also she was treated for tapeworms (was in her stool yesterday after 2 negs). Would tapeworms cause this? Help!
No I don’t smoke. The vet listened to her lungs and such. No blood work was done either not yet at least.

dogs do cough and gag from worms seems like they come up in their throats .
do you smoke around it it maybe allergic to smoke or something in the house,
one more thing she doesnt have something caught in her throat?

please pleas help me, my cat needs help!!!!?

we have this cat who, we suspect, is a little over a year and a half old who we found wandering around our house. Up until a week ago he seemed fine. he was very playful and healthy. But this past week he has been vomiting alot. And he won’t eat nor drink. He isn’t looking to well and we are taking him to the vet. He seems to make this wierd "twitching" move that he almost seems to jump a tad while laying down. his head bobs up almost as if he has the hiccups or something of that sort. We think its his stomach. He hasn’t been outside for the past week at all. we are trying to keep him in. His hair doesn’t stay as clean as usual and seems to get frizzy and oily within an hour after patting his hair down. His eyes look normal but he sleeps alot. he doesn’t purr as much and avoids being patted on the side, back, and tummy. He cries if you pick him up so we avoid that as well. we tried different types of foods and liquids such as water, his cat food, and a little bit of tuna. he hasn’t touched either of him. He takes very little water in. he isn’t as playful as he usually is either. He will drink out of the dogs bowl but not from his. a few of the people here think that he has a ghastly stench but i don’t smell it.

Is there anything we can do until we are able to take him to the vet? we have about 6 hours till we are able to take him. He hasn’t been any cat fights and there hasn’t been anything he could have gotten into that we know of.
the thing about the dog bowl is that the dog is sick as well, and we aren’t sure whether the cat got that illness from the dog or not. the dog has had diarhea (however u spell it) and has been throwing up alot as well. but she eats. ive been checking on the cat bak and forth every 15-30 mins
i washed out the dog bowl and put some fresh water in it and set it beside him. He strayed away from it for a bit so i went to get a peice of ice. I rubbed it on his lips a bit but he force it away and he got up. He then went over to the dog bowl and drank a bit. I sat still and let him drink, that way he didn’t feel like he had to move and get destracted. i’m gonna let him rest and leave the water bowl right next to him.

First off, I am thrilled that you are taking him to the vet, that is the best place for him. If he will drink from the dogs bowl, let him. Anything to get fluids into his system. Are you trying to feed him canned food? That would be best for him and it would help rehydrate him. Don’t worry about the food as much as the water right now tho. It sounds almost like poisoning, like he ate a sick rat or something, but the twitching sounds neurological. The vet is the only person who can help him, I would just give him lots of loving and petting and tell him what a good boy he is until you leave. Please let us know how he is, I will say a prayer for him.

EDIT: DON’T give him milk!! Most cats are lactose intolerant and this will mess his stomach up even more.

How can I make my rat more comfortable with his ratball?

I typically carry him around or put him on a leash, which he loves, but I’d like to give him a little more freedom, especially with my cat around (for the most part she’s very indifferent to him but I like to be safe). But when I got him a ratball and tried to put him in, he freaked! He pooped and wet himself and began gnawing on the lid, plus he got hiccups. I’ve tried several times and different ways of trying to get him used to it, like comforting him, sitting him in it, but he leaps out immediately. It breaks my heart to see him scared. Anyone with similar experiences that found a solution?

Rats aren’t suppose to have exercise balls or wheels. It will hurt their backs that’s why it’s freaking out.

Our puppy has some bad habits but am not sure what’s causing them..?

Our puppy of 6 months wants to eat all the time. She goes into the cat box (cleaned daily), eats messes from the back yard (cleaned regularly), has severe hiccups, doesn’t have worms and wants to eat all the time. She scratches at everything she lays down on and tries to eat it as well, blankets, bedding, rugs – nothing is safe. Including dog chew toys – kongs – nothing stops her and nothing is indestructable. We’ve taken her to the vet and he hasn’t found anything either. She gets fed excellent food, has access to fresh water all the time. We can’t keep her off the kitchen counters either. Any ideas?
She is a walker hound, pitt mix – right now she’s ~2′ tall. She get’s 4 C of dry Prairie Chicken/brown rice medley with 2 nuggets of raw mixed in each feeding – 1 morning and 1 night. Very energetic puppy – chews up most of her toys so we have to be careful what we give her. Kongs so far are the only thing that lasts for more than a few days.
Oh and two walks a day plus 20-30 minutes a day ball throwing. Everyone in the house is very on top of making sure she has someone keeping an eye on her because of the stuff she’s chewed up to make sure she doesn’t get anything bad (or good). The bored comments sound right. Unfortunately we have to work too and the other dog is not as active. Duct tape info is interesting. Thanks for all the good advice

I’ve never met a dog who didn’t like to visit the cat litter box. We solved that issue by dedicating a downstairs bathroom to the cats and installing a cat door so that they can come and go as they please while the dogs are kept out.

As far as the other issues, do you have the dog on a regular feeding schedule? I find that routine helps with eating issues.

Counter surfing is a training issue. You have to find a way to teach her that the counters are off limits which is hard because it is a self rewarding activity (she gets food, it must be a good idea in her mind, right?). One suggestion a trainer made to me was to put loops of duct tape all along the edge of the counter so that when the dog puts her paws up there she’ll have to touch the tape. Apparently dogs don’t like the feeling. My counter surfer will still occasionally violate the rules, but she generally doesn’t have to audacity to do it while I’m looking anymore. We just keep the counters and table tops clear of food when no one is in the room.

As far as the chewing goes, puppies chew, however the level of destructiveness you are talking about sounds like boredom to me. She needs a job!

Does anyone have any tips on how to potty train a puppy and how to get it to stop chewing on everything?

I got a two month old rat terrrier a week ago and he won’t stop going to the bathroom in side even though we take him out almost every hour and stay out with him for at least ten minutes. Sometimes he will go for us outside and other times he’ll just sit there and go inside after I just took him out but he wouldn’t even try outside.

As for his chewing problme, we’ve given him things to chew on(since we couldn’t get him any chew toys for a little while)and he’ll chew on them, but he always chews on other things as well(I.E.my pencils, erasers, things in the garbage.)We got him a rope chew toy and he really liked it for a few minutes then he went back to chewing on everything else.

I need tips on how to get him to stoip going to the bathroom inside and how to get him to stop chewing on things he’s not supposed to. And tips on how to teach him to stop gping in the gabage would be useful.

Also, he gets the hiccups every day and I’m a little worried. They only last for about a minute and it only happens once(maybe twice)a day. My mom says it sounds like the sound animals make when they have a hairball and he does eat the cat’s fur(he pulls it out when he wrestles with it(the poor kitty can’t get him to leave him alone)),but he hasn’t coughed up any furballs. I’m wondering if anyone knows what it could be.

crate train your pup

paper training sux

Cat has worms?

my cat had woke up from sleeping and sat at the end of the bed, i thought she had to use it so i put her on the floor to go to her litter box but instead she walked to the middle of the floor and began hiccupping and starting throwing up and i then notice it was worms in the throw so i called my mom. i believe she has roundworms and my mom’s friend told me she got it from drink regular milk. im going to take her to the vet but can i get anything just by touch her and can she get worms from milk? and she threw up on my carpet and my bro pick the worms up and put the in some foil to take to the vet and put disinfectant and carpet cleaner down is it snatized. mind im very paranoid about stuff like that. lol also she seems really hype and more play even though she threw up. shes about 7-8 weeks old an my first kitten

worms in kittens are extremely common. they can get worms a couple of ways, and drinking regular pasteurized cow milk isn’t one of them.

• passed from mother to baby while in utero.
• passed down from the mother thru HER milk.
• ingesting the microscopic eggs from infected poo…all that takes is walking in another animal’s poo and then cleaning her feet later.
• eating an infested rodent.

humans get it when they ingest the eggs, usually by eating contaminated meat or by not washing their hands after getting the eggs on them. it’s pretty rare for a human to pick it up, mostly because people tend to wash their hands quit a bit, especially before eating. i wouldn’t worry too much about getting it unless you plan on eating her poo, lol. your brother did the best thing by disinfecting the area & bringing a sample to the vet. the vet will probably ask for a sample of her poo so he can check for microscopic eggs of other types of worms as well…it’s pretty common for babies to have more than one kind at once. but once she’s wormed, she’ll be fine & you’ll both breathe much easier about it.